Protecting the Family Online--The Allison Stokke Debate

Have you seen or heard of Allison Stokke, if you haven't then you are living under a rock. Admittedly, Allison Stokke is hot (since she is 18, I can say that without being a pedophile) and apparently quite talented at her chosen sport. Do a Google search and you get about 576,000 hits (not including this post) But following a Washington Post article on her explosive notoriety, the Post has followed up with an On Parenting blog debate on the story.

Clearly, the Stokke family's media strategy designed to help rid their daughter of what Allison's mom Cindy called "locker room talk for all of us to read" failed. But if this were your daughter -- or son -- how would you respond? What recourse do parents have to protect their children from what can be a cruel, anonymous Internet world?

The Stokke family has clearly talked to the press and may be trying to spin a story that is probably unspinnable, but the On Parenting blog raises a good point--how do we protect our family in cyberspace.

Obviously, we can do a great deal to protect our families from viewing cyberspace, for example, my oldest daughter--The Peanut, enjoys the Disney websites since she likes Disney so much. She also likes The Wiggles and a few sites about ballet. She is always well supervised when playing on these sites and her time is usually limited to about an hour maybe twice a week at most. That part is easy.

My wife is always worried about me mentioning my family in this space and I generally respect her wishes, never referring to them by name. But the Allison Stokke story does present a problem over the long run. As my daughters age and begin to partake in activities that may generate their own press (the activities not my daughters) such a gymnastics meets or dance recitals, how can I prevent my daughters from being Stokke-ed? After thinking about it for a while, I don't think I can.

From the outset, Allison Stokke did not fan the flames of her "celebrity." She happens to be an athlete whose success in the pole vault has led to fame in itself. The fact that she is stunningly attractive boosted her fame. Had she less beautiful, the interest in her would have stopped with her pole vaulting records, but she isn't less beautiful and her "fame" continued to grow. In an age when beauty and athleticism captivates people, even when you don't win titles (see Anna Kournikova), it may be impossible to stop the Internet salivating and other less publicly acceptable activities over attractive women athletes.

If my daughters turn out to be objectively beautiful, as opposed to just beautiful to their family, will I be able to stop the ogling? No. What I can do, however, is prepare my daughters to handle such situations with grace and dignity. So far, from what I have seen, Allison Stokke has a good head on her shoulders (not just a pretty one) and has handled things pretty well. That is really all that can be done. Sure, her parents are rightfully concerned and they too seem to be doing pretty well dealing with their daughters celebrity.

As for the question of "cashing in," I think the Stokkes have options available to them should they choose. For one thing, Allison Stokke could clearly make money as a model and she would not be the first, nor would she be the last, female athlete to do it. (My post on Amanda Beard and Playboy continues to generate hits on this blog, despite its age). She doesn't need it for college since she is getting an athletic scholarship. If she continues to improve she could easily make the Olympic team and move into professional track and field.

No matter what path she chooses, the Stokke story may have changed the way parents look at the Internet and the media. Protecting our kids from the internet has taken on a new facet, it is not just protecting them from what they see on the Internet, but also about how the Internet view our children.